I know I have done it. I bet you have too. You’ve stood in front of the mirror and asked yourself why in the world you are doing this ‘self employment’ thing. Regardless of where you are in your business now, at one time, you were frustrated by it. Chances are a lot of the time it’s a love/hate relationship even now.
Maybe you lost a big job that you were pretty sure would push you out of business if you didn’t land it. Maybe you knew that you weren’t going to get a paycheck for the next couple of weeks and when you did get a check it wasn’t going to make up for the last two you missed. Maybe you’re sick and tired of your family taking a back seat to that client you don’t really even like but he just keeps calling at the worst times and you can’t afford to tell him to just go away, forever.
So, what do I tell myself that keeps me going? I tell myself it’s going to be a cool story. I guess it’s supposed to be more philosophical than that. Sorry, for me, it’s really quite simple. I want all of this to be a really cool story that people want to sit around and listen too.
I just started the book A Million Miles In A Thousand Years, by Donald Miller. I’m on page 19 and I can already tell I’m going to love it.
I’m realizing that for the last 20 years of my life I’ve tried to live in a way that will make a great story. I’m certain it’s because I have a pretty strong imagination. I fantasize about the level of success I’m going to achieve by never giving up and staying the course. I imagine groups of people wanting to sit around and hear the story of how my wife and I couldn’t have kids of our own so we became foster parents, a few left but two got to stay and we adopted them. How we got pregnant and had two more daughters immediately after adopting our first two. I’ll tell the story of how my business should have gone bankrupt but I fought my way through to the other side. I’ll tell of how God aways provided for us, no matter how bleak the future was looking.
Don’t you want all the hard stuff you have to go through to end up being a great story that you can tell? One that will encourage and empower others to have victory over their challenges?
So, what do you tell yourself that keeps you going during the down times?
I suspect you’ll be thrown into deep thought with A Million Miles. However, all through out my reading of it I was wondering, “Why is this guy still alone? Unmarried?” Maybe it’s just me. His story appears pretty successful, in spite of his chronicles recorded in the book. But I’ve got something he doesn’t – an almost 33 year long marriage, two responsible adult children (my oldest turns 30 next week) and 2 grandsons with another grandchild on the way. When people say, “May your tribe increase…” – mine already has (and it’s still expanding). Mr. Miller is a terrific writer and a seemingly great guy, but I wouldn’t trade places with him for all the oil BP pumped into the Gulf. James, your tribe has increased, too – may it continue. Keep writing. You’re in good company.
Thanks for the comment, Randy!
Julie and I celebrate our 20th this October.
I’ll take your company any day!
Thanks for the comment, Randy!
Julie and I celebrate our 20th this October.
I’ll take your company any day!
I keep going by asking myself “what am I learning from this process?”
Josh Bulloc
Kansas City, MO
If all the hard stuff one goes through can’t be used to tell a story of hope and faith and persistence to triumph, then it certainly all turns out to be wasted, doesn’t it? Though it seems simplistic to say so, we are going to go through these hard times anyway, whether we use them or are used up by them. Might as well take the right attitude about them and look for them to be an exciting chapter in one’s life story culminating in success.
Trust me, being self-employed isn’t the only kind of employment that gives one the opportunity to look in the mirror and wonder about one’s sanity. I certainly experience that in the corporate world. Days of ineffective leadership due in part to ridiculous agency procedures added to an environment that perpetuates fear instead of confidence makes me question the road I am on. Faith and friendship and some really good resources, like this book you are talking about, Seth Godin and Dave Ramsey, etc. help keep things in perspective, however. Look forward to hearing more about this book as you get through it.
James – great post. The questions surrounding this book are haunting – not in a bad way, but in a way that really make you think. I’ve heard of the concept and story, and it’s stuck with me ever since first being exposed to it, and asking myself the question, what will my story be? I know for sure that I don’t want my story to be the one of the guy slaving away his entire life just so he could by a Volvo (or an Expedition in my case). Good stuff indeed.
Fantastic James!
Thanks for sharing with us Carl. There is no doubt that the self-employed don’t corner the market on work stress or the desire to run away!
I think many of us are coming to that same realization.
This reminds me of an Andy Stanley sermon I listened to recently where he explained how even the longest hardest parts of our lives end up being just a 2-3 minute story. The question is what kind of story are you going to tell? Are you going to have to leave parts out when you do tell it because you didn’t handle it in a way that was consistent with your belief system?
It’s an awesome sermon!